OK, so, if you hadn’t already guessed the theme of this post, the clue’s in the title. This post’s for the kid…because it’s her birthday!….but please don’t let that deter you from reading on….only if you want to though, obvs!
Well Tiger, it’s your 7th Birthday.
You won’t know this yet, but throughout the years I’ve written you letters and kept them in a special box just for you to read. I’d like to think that one day you’ll have the ability to read them. I’d like to think we could even read them together one day…and you can have a good old laugh at your mama, roll your eyes and call me a schmuck for being so slushy. But, whilst none of us can predict what the future holds for any of us, I’ll always live in hope – even about you calling me a schmuck! However, regardless, they’ll be kept safe…for you and you alone.
I did contemplate writing you something a bit daft, including giving you some advice for the future, like – never pluck any stray hairs on your chin or you’ll eventually end up with a beard…just like your mummy *sigh*…or don’t eat ice cream near a Cornish seagull, because they’ll swoop, steal it out of your hand, whilst also attempting to take your fingers with it…the evil little buggers! But really, you deserve much more than that. Especially on this, your very special day.
But maybe I will write you something like that in the near future, just for fun. However, today, I want to write to you straight from the heart…
Seven years, huh? Where did those years go? Sometimes it feels like those years have passed in the blink of an eye.
Naturally, you won’t remember the times when we celebrated your first Christmas together or your first birthday, but they were incredibly special days – as each and every single day has been since the day you were born.
I’ve never taken a day with you for granted!
I’ll never forget your first smile. That first delightful hug – I waited a very long time for that (four years, in fact!), but it was simply perfect when it happened! I’ll always remember the first time you rolled over on your own (after daddy and I spent what felt like forever tirelessly trying to help you do it) and when you were able to sit up all on your own (you’d turned two by this time) I knew we were moving in the right direction, I felt like we’d been given a little hope. Real hope that we could help you to do other things too. And, oh, that first, long awaited, direct eye contact you gave me was a sign we’d finally connected *melt*. There’s a line in a song by James – one of mine and daddy’s favourite bands – that reminds me of you. It goes “sometimes, when I look deep in your eyes, I swear I can see your soul”. And whether people think that’s completely bonkers or not (I don’t care!), sometimes I do. I really do!. And I think you have a very beautiful soul, Hannah. You’re magnetic and magical and sparkly and have an aura about you that’s incredibly powerful. You don’t blend in, you were definitely born to shine! Not everyone has that, but lots of people desire it…and it can’t be bought or manufactured. You’re a very lucky little girl!
And how could I ever forget those glorious first steps which was suggested might never come?. Just utterly Heavenly!
Through this, I’ve learned not to believe anything that anyone says, not to allow anyone to predict the future and to never say never. Ever!
(btw, apparently a young chap called Justin Bieber has done a song with the same title…our motto seems to be catching on!)
Anyway, let’s hope that we have LOTS more wonderful firsts!
Hannah, watching you grow and flourish truly is a blessing. But if I’m honest, a part of me wants time to stand still, for lots of reasons. I adore that zest for life you have and your independent, feisty spirit (YEAH!)…and I certainly wished I had your energy!
Right now it seems like you still have no awareness of your birthday and I really wished with all my heart that I knew what you were thinking or what you understood. Wouldn’t it be amazing though if you could decide what you wanted to do on your birthday or what you’d like for a present?
But I know you take pleasure in everything you receive and I know you love going out and having fun…so that’s just what we’ll do.
Last year was a tragic one. We lost your beloved grandpa and I know exactly how much you loved him – I could see it clearly in your eyes – and he absolutely adored you, Hannah. And then, thirteen weeks later and just two days before your birthday, we lost your grandma too; my mummy. They loved and adored you so much sweetheart. In fact, I can’t actually articulate exactly just how much love and pride they had for you – their only granddaughter. It’s my belief that they’re together and I believe they’re looking out for you and I know, for a fact, that they’d want you to have a wonderful day and an incredibly happy life.
Of course, you’ll get gifts for your birthday and whilst it’s quite nice to receive presents, we mustn’t ever forget that they’re just ‘things’ that probably won’t last too long. So, as well as buying you some things, here’s what I most wish for you on your birthday and for always….
I HOPE YOU…….
- Feel loved…now and forever!
- Never stop smiling.
- Never stop loving life and having fun.
- Have at least one true friend who’ll be there for you, no matter what.
- Never stop learning new things.
- Never stop loving the things you love…including broccoli! 🙂
- Stay healthy…please stay healthy, precious girl.
- Feel safe…always!
- Embrace every new day as magical and exciting.
- Never feel lonely or sad. But if you do, put your hand on your heart and feel your heart beating. Remember those people you love and who love you? Well, they’re inside there and even if you can’t see them or speak to them, they’re with you. Constantly!
- Have everything you need in life. But remember, whilst people need money to get by, there’s lots of things they don’t need, but rather they want. There’s a huge difference between the two. There’s nothing wrong with having aspirations, but don’t ever become one of those people who perpetually want – it’s an ugly trait. And don’t forget that no-one, but no-one, is wealthier than you if you have your health and feel loved. That’s priceless!
- Appreciate the beauty that’s all around you – from the stars in the sky, to the sun glittering on a calm sea, to the flowering weeds that grow in the cracks of the pavement. Beauty is all around us. Try, every day, to just take the time to look, just like grandpa taught me to do.
- Are always kind and compassionate.
- Can forgive the mean people, the manipulators, the ones who snigger, the people who judge, the ignorant ones or those with their own agendas – rise above them, stay away from them, ignore them my darling and trust in Karma. Karma is a wonderful thing!
- Are ALWAYS proud of who you are and your achievements. Never, EVER be ashamed of your uniqueness, never be afraid of being YOU. Hold your head up high and keep it there.
Oh, there’s a million and one things I wish for you, Princess. I especially wish right now for you to have the ability to speak or communicate effectively in some way. Any way in fact. But we can’t have that. Not just yet, anyway. But we’ll get by. We always do.
Hannah, you’ve given me so much happiness and taught me a great deal since you came into my life and, through you, I’ve learned what unconditional love was really all about…what a perfect gift you gave me…thank you!
Whilst our journey isn’t the one I wanted for you, I feel humbled and honoured and really blessed to have been entrusted to care for and protect you and overwhelmingly proud that you’re my daughter; the child I was once told I’d never have.
Forgive me if I get it wrong sometimes. To be perfectly honest, I’m just winging this mummy role and learning as I go along! But know, always, that I’m trying my very best…and I wish the very best for you.
The world is a much better place with you in it Hannah and there are many people out there who could learn a lot from you! I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Happy, happy, happy birthday, my perfect, precious girl.
Wishing you a wonderful day.